One of the words that I hear from a lot of Mums is “bonding”. This is something I don’t understand, and a lot of that has to do with my personality – I know this now.
When I was a new mother, I thought there was something wrong with me…
I was too scared to ask anyone what they were talking about as I thought it would make me a Bad Mum. From what I’ve read, bonding has a lot to do with sitting with your baby. For me, this was boring.
I remember friends and family coming over and insisting I sit down and cuddle my baby while they would hang out the washing or run to the supermarket for me. I would much prefer if they would sit with the baby so I could do those jobs. At the time, I wasn’t sure how to express this. I needed a break from my baby and the chance to do something else.
I’m still trying to work out what people mean when they talk about bonding. Recently my 9 year old was seeing a psychologist for school refusal issues and I was asked about bonding. For the first time I was able to say to a professional that I had no idea what they were talking about. It was comforting to express this and not have someone make fun of me – which is what I was afraid of.
My kids are older now, and we have a great relationship. This lack of time spent gazing at them when they were babies hasn’t made our relationship any less. If anything, understanding that baby gazing just isn’t my thing is making me a better Mum now.